User blog:THEJJRAT/Shamchat
The Great Cornholio: GIVE ME TP FOR MY BUNGHOLE Shrek: Ok Shrek: laddeh The Great Cornholio: I CLAIM THIS LAND FOR BUNGHOLIO. *PLANTS FLAG OF THE BUNGHOLE ON SHREK'S SWAMP* Shrek: Your gonna have to pay for thatThe Great Cornholio: HEHEHEH. GIVE ME TP FOR MY BUNGHOLE! Shrek: *shoots with ak-47* The Great Cornholio: *The bunghole gives him strength. This is now a God Vs. a God.* The Great Cornholio: RUN AS YOU MAY. YOU CANNOT ESCAPE. *Hits him with a rolio* Shrek: Shrek backs away, injured. He takes out an onion and strangles you with it Shrek: Sweet home Alabama The Great Cornholio: *The fight is indeed close, but Bunghole-17 bombers fly over the swamp, dropping TP everywhere.* Shrek: Shrek gives birth to a nuclear bomb and throws it at Cornholio. The Great Cornholio: *Cornholio activated his bunghole, allowing himself to be shielded from the bomb, but his supply of TP is now disintegrated.* YOU WILL PAY FOR TP Shrek: No Shrek: Shrek kills Cornholio with a dildo The Great Cornholio: THERE WILL BE MANY BUNGHOLES AFTER ME. *Cornholio dies. But this is only the beginning.* Shrek: Shrek prospers in his swamp, victorious. The Great Cornholio: *Somewhere in the distance, an egg cornholio laid hatches. Revenge will come soon.*The Great Cornholio has left the conversation. K KkkCastiel : Hello Shrek: Hello, I am Shrek the Ogre. Castiel : I'm Castiel, angel of the Lord. Shrek: What are you doing in my swamp? Castiel : I was send here. I'm sorry this happens a lot. I will leave now. Shrek: Ye better leave Shrek: Faggot M Marshall: D-Daddy! Shrek the Ogre green, ogre: Son Shrek the Ogre green, ogre: I thought she had an abortion Marshall: You're back from the war! Marshall: World War 420 Shrek the Ogre green, ogre: Oh yes, I've been fighting the Nazis from space Shrek the Ogre green, ogre: And the illuminati Marshall: With your trusty Mountain Dew and Doritoes? Shrek the Ogre green, ogre: Of course Shrek the Ogre green, ogre: And my fat ogre ass Marshall: And onions Marshall: Lmao Kkk Fem!Marionette (FNAF): Woah.... Uhm... G-Good evening. SCP-049: WHAT THE SHIT SCP-049: GUARDS SCP-049: GUARDS GET THE FUCK IN HERE SCP-049: THERES A FUCKING PUPPET Fem!Marionette (FNAF): ...;~; Fem!Marionette (FNAF): I have no idea how I got here or where I am. I just need to know how to get out of here. SCP-049: oh the doors that way *points at the door at the middle of the room* Fem!Marionette (FNAF): ...thank you. Fem!Marionette (FNAF): have a nice day! *i made my way to the door.* SCP-049: k GUARDS WHERE THE FUCK IS MY SHOTGUN SCP-049: *Drek appears* SCP-049: The blue ogre eats the Marionette SCP-049: SCP-049 kills Drek SCP-049: He is dead SCP-049: But not for long SCP-049: He will return SCP-049: The scientists gather the Marionette's corpse for study SCP-049: SCP-049 becomes the president of Scotland SCP-049: All is well Kkk A letter (18 because wattpad rulesz) is wandering the forest.... The Letter J: FUCKUNG christ Shrekman (Ogre/Slenderman hybrid): WHAT ARE TOU DOING IN MY FOREST The Letter J: I UH The Letter J: IM JUST The Letter J: SIGHTSEEING Shrekman (Ogre/Slenderman hybrid): I KNOW YOUR STEALING MY ONIONS Shrekman (Ogre/Slenderman hybrid): HAND EM OVER The Letter J: I DONT HAVE ANY I DONT EVEN LIKE ONIONS Shrekman (Ogre/Slenderman hybrid): OH Shrekman (Ogre/Slenderman hybrid): *touches you with his ogre cock tentacles* The Letter J: //J IS AFRAID Shrekman (Ogre/Slenderman hybrid): //Shrek is aroused Shrekman (Ogre/Slenderman hybrid): Shrekman pulls of his/her pants and fondles his balls with his penis tentacles The Letter J: Please.. Mr. I'm just a letter, don't do this... Shrekman (Ogre/Slenderman hybrid): Suddenly, Chuck Norris appears and eats Shrekman The Letter J: OH UH The Letter J: Well, thanks? The Letter J: im Shrekman (Ogre/Slenderman hybrid): "Y'all got any fried chicken" Chuck asks, exhausted The Letter J: I'm sorry to say, but I don't.. Shrekman (Ogre/Slenderman hybrid): Chuck, disappointed, falls dead. Shrekman (Ogre/Slenderman hybrid): BUT JOHN CENA APPEARS AND JUMPSTARTS HIS HEART WITH A TOASTER The Letter J: //J at this point just doesn't want to accept any of this is real Shrekman (Ogre/Slenderman hybrid): Chuck Norris offers to adopt J, and teach him the ways of the Roundhouse Kick. The Letter J: //J, not having anything else to do, accepts his offer Shrekman (Ogre/Slenderman hybrid): John, J, and Chuck run into the sunset and have a good family meal at a local diner, with Sweet Home Alabama playing in the background. The Letter J: //J enjoys their new life together with new family, trying to forget his past and how he was molested by the most terrifying monster Shrekman (Ogre/Slenderman hybrid): Meanwhile, Shrekman is resurrected by Demon Lord Zeraxos. He will return, but for now, peace infects the land. The Letter J: //J now attends high school, standing out from the other children because a letter with stick arms and legs but he doesn't let that bother him. He still has a good outlook and roundhouse kicks anyone who wrongs him// Shrekman (Ogre/Slenderman hybrid): Shrek is the teacher. He is teaching about the science of onions. Shrekman (Ogre/Slenderman hybrid): In the forest, the evil blue ogre Drek is watching. Shrekman (Ogre/Slenderman hybrid): Suddenly, a Drecker bullies J for being teached by Shrek. The Letter J: //J turns around slowly, sniffling a bit because he's in fact actually a big wuss// ...Shrekman (Ogre/Slenderman hybrid): Shrek appears, next to Dwayne Johnson and Big Smoke. Shrekman (Ogre/Slenderman hybrid): "Wtf u say laddeh" (I reloaded and lost the rest, ill redo it my best) The Drecker begs for mercy. Shrek is not convinced, and eats him. J falls back and is disgusted, he has never seen cannibalism before. Big Smoke, laughing, eats a hamburger and calls Tito Dick. Suddenly, J is bumped by Bill Cosby, the sex ed teacher. J looks up at the man, intimidated. "Wahtu lookkin at" Bill asks, smoking on a joint. Suddenly, Slender Man appeared and kidnapped Bill. "Nooooooo" Bill shouts, Shrek rushing to save him. J rushes with him. Slender Man absorbs Bill's energy and becomes as powerful as ever. He snatches Shrek and J with his tentacles. J trashes around, struggling to escape. Suddenly, Donald Trump appears and saves them by shooting a rocket launcher at Slendy. He disappears the second the rocket hits, the rocket actually hitting Keemstar. J falls, watching as Keem bleeds out. He then turns to the man who saved him and Shrek. "I'm Donald Trump, President of the United States." Shrek salutes, J following his lead. Chuck teleports there, upon hearing the news of a recent school shooting, and leaving his heaven-like utopia home above the sky. He runs to J and hugs him, relieved that he's alive. J is also relieved to see his adopted father, and is happy that he is cared for. Shrek, although a deity, gasp and bows to the creator of the omniverse. J is let go, and is confused, but remembers how important his father it. He smiles at his father, him smiling back and nodding. Suddenly, Chuck spots Drek watching from a window. J turns to see Drek as well. Drek jumps into the window, wielding duel AK-47s. "We finally meet, Shrek!" Drek says, staring at Shrek. A tumbleweed rolls by. J, upon seeing the guns, hides behind his father. Chuck pulls out his revolver and shoots Drek, the bullet penetrating his left, blue, big nut. (J said he might make an account, so if you find this buddy, help pls) K Flandre Scarlet: Oh, yay! Someone's visiting me! Shrek (SRP): *knocks on the door, my fat ogre hands breaking it* Flandre Scarlet: I can leave! Shrek (SRP): *eAts the door and barges in* Shrek (SRP): WHERES YER ONIONS LAD Flandre Scarlet: I'm a girl... I don't eat onions, I prefer strawberries! Shrek (SRP): OH Shrek (SRP): WELL Shrek (SRP): ILL JUST BE LEAVIN THEN Flandre Scarlet: Bye big green guy! Thanks for letting me out! Shrek (SRP): Ok *flies into the sunset, having done another deed, although he gained no onions* This is a conversation between Wheatly :33 and yourself, Shrek (SRP). Wheatly :33: Oh my Shrek (SRP): I see ye and dat other litel robo circl are stuck in space Wheatly :33: Yesh Shrek (SRP): Want some help laddeh Wheatly :33: Maybe :33 Shrek (SRP): *throws Space Core so far away he lands on Nirn and slaps you in the non-existent robo ass, sending you back down to Earth* Wheatly :33: Oh my~ Shrek (SRP): You land on Earth, and SCP Foundation officials contain you for research. Shrek stars down at Earth, his fists on his hips, smiling. He has done another good deed. Wheatly :33: :333 yayyy Shrek (SRP): However, as you are just a robot and not anomalous at all, they stick you in a storage chamber and you sit next to a robot chicken that shouts "MAMA MIA" and sings Justin Bisbee every two seconds. This is a conversation between Underfell!Chara and yourself, Indiana Jones. Underfell!Chara: Hello! Indiana Jones: Hello, I am Indiana Jones. I have come to this land searching for an ancient artifact. Underfell!Chara: Oh. And what would that artifact be? Indiana Jones: Legend says, it's a golden statue made up of every President on Earth. I must collect it, because legend says that on this day it will come to life and destroy the planet. Underfell!Chara: Really!? Indiana Jones: Yes, and I must find it to save the world. Underfell!Chara: Well then. I cant let you find it then. Indiana Jones: Oh yeah? Underfell!Chara: Yeah. So fuck off Indiana Jones: Well, I have the power of a thousand Shreks. Just try me, bitch. *pulls out AK-47* Underfell!Chara: I am a ghost boy. You cant kill what is already dead. Indiana Jones: Oh yeah? Indiana Jones: Well, I have a phone. You know what a phone is? Indiana Jones: *calls the Ghostbusters*Underfell!Chara: fuckI ndiana Jones: *they arrive with the TARDIS* Indiana Jones: They burst out with their ghost busting tube vacuum cleaners And so, the Ghostbusters suck up Chara with their vacuums. Indie pays them and goes off to find the statue, saving the world. Samson Grynds 5'10"|Bi|M|19|Blonde|Sub|Optional SRP: *Opens up his gym* The gym is now open. Feel free to visit, no matter what you are. Batman: What if I'm an ogre Samson Grynds 5'10"|Bi|M|19|Blonde|Sub|Optional SRP: Except for elves, orcs, goblins and gremlins. They smell like cigarette smoke, and deserve to die. Samson Grynds 5'10"|Bi|M|19|Blonde|Sub|Optional SRP: Ogres are fine. Batman: Good Batman: *throws suit off,revealing that he is Shrek in disguise* Samson Grynds 5'10"|Bi|M|19|Blonde|Sub|Optional SRP: That's even better. Samson Grynds 5'10"|Bi|M|19|Blonde|Sub|Optional SRP: Now come on in. Batman: Shrek rushes in, and sees are the miraculous machinery that is built for making one healthy. He runs on a tread mill, while eating onions. Batman: He runs so fast the tread mill explodes. Samson Grynds 5'10"|Bi|M|19|Blonde|Sub|Optional SRP: Ah! Samson Grynds 5'10"|Bi|M|19|Blonde|Sub|Optional SRP: *Approaches the ruined treadmill* Batman: "Haha! Shrek is DREK!" Says a buff teenager. Samson Grynds 5'10"|Bi|M|19|Blonde|Sub|Optional SRP: Dude. Samson Grynds 5'10"|Bi|M|19|Blonde|Sub|Optional SRP: That was the most amazing thing I have ever seen! Batman: Shrek hears this. He is angry. "Thanks laddeh" he says to Samson, and turns to the drecker. Batman: He grabs the drecker. "Wut u say laddeh?" "Nice Shrek costume, nerd! Hurhurhru" the drecker says Batman: Shrek has had enough Batman: He grabs the drecker and squeezes his guts out of his ass. He throws his cold corpse on the ground and stomps it into China. Samson Grynds 5'10"|Bi|M|19|Blonde|Sub|Optional SRP: If only someone was recording this. Batman: Shrek's eyeballs worked as a camera. Shrek remembered to post it on YouTube layer. Batman: Later Samson Grynds 5'10"|Bi|M|19|Blonde|Sub|Optional SRP: Well, I'll be on my office. Samson Grynds 5'10"|Bi|M|19|Blonde|Sub|Optional SRP: *He walks to his office* Batman: Shrek continues exercising. Not that he needs it, he's already a sexy beast. He does it for fun. Samson Grynds 5'10"|Bi|M|19|Blonde|Sub|Optional SRP: *Hums "All-Star"* Batman: Shrek hears this. He is attracted by the noise. Samson Grynds 5'10"|Bi|M|19|Blonde|Sub|Optional SRP: I said yep, what a concept. Batman: Shrek runs to the noise. Batman: He wants to find the source. Samson Grynds 5'10"|Bi|M|19|Blonde|Sub|Optional SRP: *Stands up* Am I doing it right? Batman: Shrek nods. Suddenly, his eyes become static and distorted. He turns around. It's Drek, standing next to the Operator from Marble Hornets. He enslaved it with a electric collar to blind Shrek. Batman: Shrek roars at the blue ogre and Batman: The Operator Samson Grynds 5'10"|Bi|M|19|Blonde|Sub|Optional SRP: Do I seriously have to do this again? *He walks to the battle* Batman: Shrek, using his hearing as sight, jumps onto Drek. He then humps him. Samson Grynds 5'10"|Bi|M|19|Blonde|Sub|Optional SRP: *He grabs his claymore* Hey, operator. Batman: The faceless slave dabs Samson Grynds 5'10"|Bi|M|19|Blonde|Sub|Optional SRP: Operate this. *He stabs their missing face* Batman: It doesn't do anything, as he just teleports the sword away. Samson Grynds 5'10"|Bi|M|19|Blonde|Sub|Optional SRP: Fuck. Batman: Drek, now injured, throws Shrek aside and jumps on Samson. Samson Grynds 5'10"|Bi|M|19|Blonde|Sub|Optional SRP: Fuck! Batman: Shrek struggles to find Samson, in order to save him. The Operator is just watching, trying to get the collar off. Samson Grynds 5'10"|Bi|M|19|Blonde|Sub|Optional SRP: *He slaps Drek away* Batman: Drek, having lost his left ball last week, has just lost his left lung to this slap. Samson Grynds 5'10"|Bi|M|19|Blonde|Sub|Optional SRP: Drek, don't come to the gym again. Batman: Drek surrenders, and throws a smoke bomb to the ground. He disappeared. (faggot left so I have to continue) Drek had dropped the remote to the shock collar. As a result, the Operator stopped causing static and distortion. Shrek walks up to the Slender, it being extremely terrified. Shrek slices the collar of it's neck, and left it be. The Slender looked at the collar at the ground, and back at the ogre, and turned around to run, and teleported. Samson turned around, and Shrek was gone. He had done another good deed. Gamestop Clerk: Hi this is Trayvon welcome to Gamestop! Shrek (serious rp): Um, hi Shrek (serious rp): I would like the newest Shrek game Shrek (serious rp): Call of Shrek 6: World at Shrek Gamestop Clerk: We're having a special on Fallout 4 right now, pre order today and receive a sweatshirt that says, The creator of Nuka Cola is selling his weapon design for immortality and is still alive, and this is the secret of Nuka World. Gamestop Clerk: Sorry that's out of stock Shrek (serious rp): Shrek, furious, keeps his anger in and orders Fallout 4. Gamestop Clerk: Good goy Gamestop Clerk: Can I have your phone number for telemarketing purposes? Gamestop Clerk: I mean for great deals! Shrek (serious rp): Shrek, having enough, pulls out an AK-47. "THIS IS A ROBBERY" Gamestop Clerk: SHEEEEEEIT Gamestop Clerk: *RAPES WHITE WOMAN http://www.shamchat.com/75694dd7/ http://www.shamchat.com/b465b562/ http://www.shamchat.com/2352f56e/ http://www.shamchat.com/41f2ba09/ http://www.shamchat.com/12efadee/ http://www.shamchat.com/994bc59f/ Kkkkk This is a conversation between The Letter J and yourself, Chuck Norris (father of J). Chuck Norris (father of J): Hoi The Letter J: DAD Chuck Norris (father of J): SON Chuck Norris (father of J): IS THAT YOU The Letter J: YEAH DAD IT'S ME!!!!!! Chuck Norris (father of J): I haven't seen you since you ran away from the school when Bill Cosby puked up that scary teddy bear! The Letter J: Yeah..... I try not to think about itThe Letter J: Its why I left, Chuck Norris (father of J): John has been worried sick The Letter J: He has been?.. Oh no, I didn't mean to worry anyone! Chuck Norris (father of J): He thought the Edge had kidnapped you The Letter J: The.. Edge? Sounds sharp, heh, uh.. The Letter J: I'm not sure that they'd do if they ever got their non-existent hands on me Chuck Norris (father of J): but he has hands The Letter J: Like,, my cartoon gloved ones? Chuck Norris (father of J): No Chuck Norris (father of J): Big meaty claws The Letter J: Oh good lord, I don't want that touching me.. Chuck Norris (father of J): By the way, kiddo, where are we? I just teleported here when I got bored of roundhouse kicking my enslaved Bruce Lee. The Letter J: //J looks about, seeing that they were at a cliff face overlooking a sea// Well, this is where I go when I try to calm down. After running away, I uh, came here. Chuck Norris (father of J): Chuck looks around, and sees a large metal door labeled "Vault 367" The Letter J: I.. Wouldn't touch that if I were you. I heard some strange noises coming from it. Chuck Norris (father of J): Chuck steps over to it. It was covered in vines and rust. Chuck Norris (father of J): He sniffs it. It smells like Chernobyl. Chuck Norris (father of J): Suddenly, Shrek appears next to J. The Letter J: Huh??The Letter J: Oh.. Hello. Chuck Norris (father of J): "I heard ye were back, saw it on Twitter." The fat green ogre says. The Letter J: I don't have a- ah nevermind.. Chuck Norris (father of J): Chuck Norris is suddenly alarmed by the smell. It smells like some thing he had smelled before. The Letter J: //J wonders what's wrong with his father, he can tell something's upsetting him. He reaches out a gloved hand towards him Chuck Norris (father of J): Chuck tried to find something near the vault, seemingly destined to open it. He then found a strange pedestal with a button on it. Chuck Norris (father of J): He slapped it. Suddenly, the door make a horrid creaking sound, and the round door extended forward, while large gears are forced back into the rock of the mountain. The door then slides to the side. The Letter J: //J watches in awe. The loud noises made him flinch and coware back, making him back up cautiously// The Letter J: W-.. What do you think is in there? Chuck Norris (father of J): "Something bad." Chuck says, and snaps his finger. A gas mask falls from the sky, and catches it. He then puts it on. Chuck Norris (father of J): Chuck wanders inside. The Letter J: //The letter stays back with the big fellow, waiting for something to happen// Chuck Norris (father of J): Chuck laid his foot on the cold metal floor. It is stained brown, presumably from water, rust, and blood. There was a skeleton laying on the metal steps that led into the vault. Chuck Norris (father of J): Shrek, holding a crowbar, creeped behind Chuck. The Letter J: //following his instincts, J tiptoed behind them both. His unstable composure lacking, making him shiver as he followed// Chuck Norris (father of J): Chuck gulped and stepped up the stairs. His boots made a clanking sound. His geiger counter on his belt let off a few ticks as he went in. The Letter J: //all the strange smells, creaks, and lighting certainly made J all the more uneasy. He didnt trust this place one bit, and he was tempted to turn around and dart out. He didnt know if he'd make it outside on his own either, so both choices made him worried// Chuck Norris (father of J): J heard a scratching sound beside him. It was just a rat. The Letter J: J froze, his eyes landing on the rat beside him. A shriek escaped his mouth, and he jumped five feet off the dirtied floor, landing on his rump. He scrambled up, running ahead, not looking back //Chuck Norris (father of J): Chuck tried to grab onto his coat but failed. He muttered a curse before running after him. Shrek went onto further investigation of the vault. The Letter J: J was running at his top speed now, coming into close contact with a door. He hit it. Head on. "Uhhgb.." He sputtered out, dazed from the collision. Using the wall as support, he stumbled up on his feet. Chuck Norris (father of J): He could hear strange whispering on the wall that supported him. He stuck his non existent ear onto it. Chuck Norris (father of J): He was also surrounded by empty cans, broken Nuka Cola bottles, and bones. The Letter J: Whilst listening, J got a good look at his sorroundings. He blinked, holding his breath. He wouldn't scream again. He wouldn't scream again. He felt himself going lightheaded, but he kept listening. It must have been coming from inside the room, he thought. Chuck Norris (father of J): He saw a strange paper lying on the floor, beside his shoe. It had a strange symbol on it, and the words "SCP" on the head of the page. Chuck Norris (father of J): Meanwhile, Chuck was searching for his son. "CORAL, CORAL?!" He yells. He then sees a containment chamber, with the Tobey Maguire Spider Man stuck in an electric chair, beaten to a pulp. He rushes to help him and unlocks his chains. "Who did this to you?" Chuck asks. "S-sony..." The Letter J: Back with J, he picked up the flyer and examines it, squinting at the words. "What?.." He muttered. "I've never seen anything like this before," J said aloud, finally opening up the door and walking inside. Chuck Norris (father of J): The page was burned, but was talking about a creature known as SCP-106. As he was reading, he feels a sudden shock of pain through his legs. Chuck Norris (father of J): He looks behind him, and sees something. It looks human, but with bleached skin and skinny as hell. It screeched and jumped at him. The Letter J: Stumbling forward, J quickly turned back to gaze at the... Creature? Person. That was a person, right? J didn't have time to think that sentence through though, as he was being attacked. J screeched back, but out of fear instead. He fell backwards, the thing leaping over him. Chuck Norris (father of J): It simply punched at him and dug it's claws into his flesh. He could hear a geiger counter left by a skeleton go off the charts. The Letter J: J took the noise as 'not good', but too many things were going through his mind to really think straight. Panicking, J tried hitting it back, but seeing as it wouldn't do much, he ran for the door. He stopped at the wall, wincing in pain as he felt his back ooze alphabet blood. Chuck Norris (father of J): The creature was still screaming and screeching, and clawing at him. Through the door, he saw a tall figure rise. It had a business suit, a red tie, and strange things extending from it's back. Chuck Norris (father of J): Meanwhile, Chuck was holding Peter on his shoulder, trying to find the vault door. After he delivered Peter to Shrek, he would immediately then around to find J. Upon seeing the tall being, it sent shivers through his body as he was being scratched. It reminded him of what had happened to him a long time ago, sending him into shock. It must've been the PTSD kicking in. He felt his knees go weak. They gave out on him, and he laid there, sobbing. He didnt attempt to crawl away, he couldn't. Chuck Norris (father of J): The thing shot out one of it's appendages at the skinny creature, pushing it back. It stepped over to J, and wrapped it's slippery tentacles around him. The creature yelped and tried to leap at the figure. The Letter J: J finally got his mind to think straight. He realized the situation he was, was critical. He thrashed about in the tall things grasp, kicking and yelling like the creature. He wanted out just as much as it did. J even tried biting the appendages, but all they tasted of was ink. Chuck Norris (father of J): Chuck laid down Peter's body on the grass outside of the vault, and wiped his wounds with a tower dipped in a healing potion. He then hears a faint screech in the vault. His heart sunk and his eyes widened. KkKkkkk This is a conversation between The Letter J and yourself, Chuck. Chuck: Chuck sprinted into the vault with Sanic speed. He could not find J anywhere. He did, however, find the page he found and a room covered in blood and a strange black substance. The Letter J: J was exhausted, and laid still, wherever he was. He couldn't tell, and wouldn't, his as due to his eyes being closed. He snoozed away, trying to rest from all the pain he was put through. Chuck: His pant legs felt wet, and he could hear breathing in the room. The Letter J: "Mmhn.." He mumbled softly, moving a little bit. He felt.. Weird. Was he dead? He didn't know, but was soon to find out. He cautiously opened his eyes and looked towards the noise. Chuck: He was in what looked like to be an interrogation room. There was a table infront of him, with a TV laying on it. It was static, but sometimes words appeared on it for a few frames Chuck: It was also really dark, and the air had a tint of purple in it. He could also hear running, stepping, mumbled talking, and screaming in the background. Also he could hear Shrek pooping. The Letter J: "W-what?-" J's head cranked around, looking at his new sorroundings. It all made him scared once more, and he huddled in his jacket. Or what was left of his jacket, that is. It was pretty shredded. He turned his attention back to the T.V, however, placing a hand on the staticky screen. It tingled his hand. Chuck: The TV then turned black. And then a picture of Chuck Norris appeared, in black and white. His eyes were crossed out. The Letter J: J quickly removed his hand, holding it close to himself. "Uhh.." He was confused, but concerned. Was his father.. Dead? Or soon to be? He wanted answers, and stood up shakily. His feet were sore, and his legs weak. Chuck: He suddenly heard banging on a wooden door to the left. The Letter J: "Hello?" He called out, covering his mouth quickly. That was probably a bad idea. Chuck: The banging proceeded. He could hear mumbling behind it. The Letter J: Having nothing else to do besides look at the T.V, J moved over to the door. He knocked back. Chuck: He could hear a faint laughing, and a "shit" behind the door. The Letter J: "..." He stayed quiet, but knocked a second time. Chuck: The door slowly swayed open. The Letter J: J took a step back, bracing himself. Chuck: The inside was dark, and all he could see was a tree. With a body stuck to it, and a piece of paper stuck to it's head with a nail. Chuck: He could almost read it. The only words he could see were "turn around" The Letter J: His eyes widened, but he stood still. He didnt know whether to trust this paper or not. Nothing seemed safe around here. Instead, he took a step forward. Chuck: The body twitched a bit. The Letter J: "Hm," he decided to finally look behind himself, turning the entirety of his small body. Chuck: He found himself in a forest, that looked normal. It was also day time. The Letter J: Now this was getting weird, he thought. "A forest, really?" He said aloud, huffing a bit. "At least the suns still out," he sat down, trying to collect himself. Chuck: Suddenly, he could see three figures in the trees. The Letter J: "Huh?" He looked up, squinting at them. Chuck: He heard leaves being crunched, and he turned his head around. A blonde guy with a hat with Haunter from Pokèmon on it. "Hey, have you seen a, I don't know, a guy in a suit? He's like, yay tall."Chuck: Was kneeling behind him. The Letter J: J was startled and shimmed away rather quickly. "A-a.. Wh-" he stammered. "A man in a suit? Well.." He looked down, remembering finally what happened before he woke up. "I do, but I have not seen him around here." Chuck: "poop fuckin asshole" the man said and ran away. The Letter J: "I..." J looked up as he watched him run. "Okay..." Chuck: He then saw another man wearing a lab coat (with the strange symbol he saw earlier) walking through the woods, smacking bees, coming to his area. The Letter J: "A-ah! Sir!" The letter got up, walking towards him. "Would you happen to know where we are?" Chuck: The man turned around, winning a heated battle with a wasp, and had a look of confusion when he saw a walking letter. The Letter J: J was closer to him now, and he smiled up at him. He did feel sorry for the bug, though. Chuck: "I need to lay off the LSD" the man said. J could read his name tag. "Dr. Berry B. Banson" The Letter J: "Aha.. Uh, I'm real, you know," the letter spoke, "But I can understand why you'd think that.." He squinted at the name tag, "Dr. Berry." Chuck: "Ah, well, I see stranger shit everyday. Hello, talking...letter thing." Chuck: He put his hand out for a shakey shake.The Letter J: "It's J," He took the mans hand in his gloved one and shook it. "Nice to meet you." Chuck: "Doctor Berry. I hate bees, I like soup, and I like science." He said. The Letter J: "Ah! Where do you work? That symbol on your er.. Coat, I've seen it before.." Chuck: "Well, since we're probably going to contain you anyway, the SCP Foundation." The Letter J: "SCP Foundation.." He repeated, but looked at him quickly. "Did I hear you right? Contain me?" Chuck: "Well, at least if you aren't Chuck Norris' son, which you aren't!" Berry laughed, snapping his fingers and gun pointing at him at the same time with his finger things. The Letter J: "Heh,, funny for you to have said that," J laughed with him awkwardly, shifting his eyes to the ground. "I'm actually, his son. His adopted one, that is," he explained. "I'm actually trying to get out of here and find him. The last time I saw him we were in a vault, and then I made a rash decision and ran ahead. I never saw him after that." Chuck: "Well now whose the one whose high on crack" The Letter J: "I'm telling the truth! Mr! You have to believe me!" I pleaded, taking off his coat. "He gave this to me!" J held up the jacket, and imprinted into the tag was 'J Norris'. Chuck: "Well, we do have someone who thinks he's from the Bible." He shrugged. The Letter J: "Bible? Uh.." J shook his head, sighing. "Do you know where we are?" J asked again. Chuck: "I don't know, one minute I'm watching a Class D play tag with o' four nine and the other I'm running from some tall ass guy with no face." The Letter J: "I've seen the tall man before. He didnt chase me but, he took me here, I think? We all must be here for the same reason." Chuck: "Well, I did see a bunch of tentacles wrap around me and Bright..." He says, remembering fourteen minutes ago. Chuck: Meanwhile, Chuck is having a tea party with the creature that attacked J, in an attempt to get information out of it. The Letter J: "Same here.. Ah," he watched another bee stroll by, "I just wish the tall man would take us back." Chuck: Berry ate the bee, as it was giving him a smug look. The Letter J: J watched, giving the doctor a strange look. "Should we... Should we look for an exit?" Chuck: The Doctor was unresponsive as he was getting sucked off by an invisible Shrek. "what an amazing species" he says. He writes this information down. He has made a new discovery, the invisible shreks. "Oh, yes." He said after he finished researching. Chuck: Suddenly, Berry B. Benson appeared from the Bee Movie. "Well hi" the humanoid bee waved. Chuck: The human berry took out a revolver and aimed at bee Berry. "en garde" The Letter J: J ducked, crawling away to safety. He looked back, watched the two. Chuck: "Woah man woah wtf" Berry screamed and ran away. Berry 1 shot at Berry 2 in a heated battle. "all my bee minions attack bee racist now" Berry 2 says and commands his bee army like Aqua Man. They come storming towards Berry 1. Berry one eats them all. The Letter J: He couldn't tell what was really going on. He's witnessed some strange shit the past couple days he's been here but.. Each day it got weirder and weirder. He continued to watch, crawling away further and further. Chuck: Suddenly, he bumps into something. It looks like the figure that kidnapped him, but had abnormally long arms. Suddenly, Berry 1 and J were teleported outside of the vault, the creature still with them. The Letter J: "What-" he stammered, seeing that they were now on the nice green grass overlooking the sea. J smiled and grabbed the doctors coat. "We're back! We escaped!!" Chuck: "Dammit I wanted to kill that bee" The Letter J: "Forget about the bee! We're free birds now!" He turned towards the other being then, getting a better look at their savior. Chuck: It looked just like the Bill Cosby kidnapper and the thing that attacked the Rake, but had taller legs, long and slender arms (reaching beyond his waist), and a black tie. Chuck: It teleported away, leaving a note where it was standing. It read "thank you". This was directed at Shrek. The Letter J: J watched as it vanished, picking up the note and tucking it into his front pocket of his jacket. "So.. Uh," He turned around. "Doc, what are you going to do now?" Chuck: The scientist pulled a flip phone out of his ass and dialed. "Yeah, Clef, can you pick me up?" Chuck: "No, I didn't kill a hooker. No, I didn't get high off the meth that could turn into solid gold at will." The Letter J: "Um.." J began to walk towards the vault, maybe Chuck was still in there.. Chuck: "What the nipple juices" Spider Man screamed, he had just woke up from a nightmare about him being replaced with Andrew Garfield. Chuck: His costume was ripped, and his wounds were covered in a blue liquid given to him by Chuck. Chuck: He shot a web at J. The Letter J: "Hmm-MMM" J fell down, ripping the silky web off of him. He shook his hand, and looked at the man in costume. Chuck: He looked like Tobey Maguire. The Letter J: He squinted at him. His eyesight sure wasn't the greatest, but he rose a brow at him. "Hello?" Chuck: "I had sex with a raccoon once" The Letter J: "Uh-huh.." He looked at him funny, but looked back towards the vault. "Have you happened to see Mr. Norris around here?" Chuck: "Oh yeah he was having a tea party with a piece of garden equipment and headed out to Butt-In-Burg with Shrek" The Letter J: "Really? Where is that?" Chuck: "Over here" he said. He snagged the both of them with webs and web swung to the area. The scientist dropped a tracker there to explore the vault later. The Letter J: "OOF-" the little letter was carried away, swinging through the air. Chuck: Shrek, who was picking onions, catched it with his ass cheeks. The Letter J: J hopped on the ground then, dusting himself off. Chuck: They were hundreds of miles away from the vault, on a path of gravel. Spider Man fell too, as he hadn't eaten enough to produce webs. Chuck: There was a sign Chuck: "Welcome, to Butt-In-Burg! Population: 998,902! *warning buttinburg is not responsible for any death disease or booty cancer from the anomalies of this strange city*." The Letter J: J inspected the sign, looking up at the doctor. "I think you should look into this place too by what it says here." Chuck: "Oh, we do. 24/7 surveillance, six hundred cameras hidden around the city." Chuck: "Only reason it isn't shut down from the public is because there's some really important people that live here." The Letter J: "Like who?" Chuck: "The Poopers. Old as time itself, probably. Been defending the universe for ages." Chuck: "Same reason we don't lock up that guy with the police box." The Letter J: "Huh.. Interesting. Good enough for me. So, should we go in then?" Chuck: "Yeah, I need to catch a bite..." Spider Man said, still on the ground, panting. The Letter J: "Need help? I could try carrying you if you want.." J offered. Chuck: "No, no...I Chuck: Okay yeah" Chuck: Suddenly, they heard a giant roar. It was coming from the city. They could see a giant lizard breaking down buildings and stomping on civilians from the distance. "Alert, all personnel, SCP-682 has breached containment. Repeat, this is not a drill. I demand all available MTF units here now." An intercom from the city said, and they could hear a raid siren. The Letter J: J started to pick up spider man as he heard the loud, disturbing noises. He held onto the man tighter. "Uhh.. I take that as 'not good'." Chuck: "Where's the Avengers when you need em..." Spidey muttered. J briefly saw a glimpse of his father flying in mid air and round house kicking the monster. Kkkmm Category:Blog posts